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Post by Xenneth Hikari on Jan 26, 2010 0:24:18 GMT -5
[shadow=black,left,300]~Noon[/shadow][/font][/color][/right] "...Xenneth-kun...Ne. ...Would it be too much to call me -chan?""
”Oh! Well…”
It was difficult, it truly was. She was a year older and that meant wisdom. Seeing he was slow and ditzy at times, he had no doubt about that. However, it was more of an inferiority complex than anything else. His eyes sweeping across lowly, he had seemed to try to gain his composure and give a straight forward answer. He had been oblivious to her cheeks going warm and red prior to him brushing that tear away seeing he wanted to make her feel “better” and put his little fear last. At the moment, he was trying to figure out exactly what was it about him overpowering that fear at those moments.
Unnoticed, until he had drew breath, he had finally taken notice to the touch on his cheek. His eyes had shot from left to right as he gazed towards Hitomi. It was apparent at that moment that it was her hand that was touching his face.
"Xen-kun, you're fine the way you are. You're a sweet person who protects those close to him, and you are very kind to someone like me... who continues to tease you and embarrass you without thought. ...You're a stronger person than you think."
He was frozen, almost paralyzed, but he could hear her out unlike the last few times. Somehow, despite his lack of motion, he could move. Somehow, he could move his body slightly as he felt a twitch of his hand as he heard her praise him as if he was some kind of “strong” person. He very much doubt that it was the case at all. Letting his hand surrender to Hitomi’s touch, he had felt it go over her heart, somewhere he could not imagine seeing he was ever scared to lay hands on her bosom, or her body for that matter considering he was a person with self control, no matter how “appealing” other found her in appearance and popularity.
"This...fear you have, it's... it's just all in your head, I think. Just now, you wiped my tear from my cheek without second thought, even though you have that fear. If the fear was really deep, you wouldn't have been able to. When you really put your mind to it, you can get rid of your fear."
Second thought was not right. To be honest, he had to hesitate seeing he was afraid to touch her, thinking that he might overstep boundaries. The only thing that assured him was the fact that he felt more remorse for Hitomi to take a punishment by touching her than that of sitting there and letting her feelings go unacknowledged. He would take any punishment if it meant to stop someone from crying. That’s just the way the boy was after all. His eyes falling upon Hitomi however as he spoke, he had felt that she was mistaken, and doubted himself.
He was not truly that strong…right?
"Xen-kun... i-if you want to be like me.. that is, have some sort of confidence, I... can try and help you. However, I truly believe that you are stronger than you think you are.. you don't need to be like anyone else. You have it all inside you. If you feel you need me to help find yourself, I will help you. Because, Xen-kun, I....I-I-I-I-I....l-l-lo..."
The offer was sweet to his ears, his eyes opening slightly however to find she was stuck in her words. He swallowed deeply, a bit hesitant about how to respond to her. He had felt as if he was about to crumble because of the time he felt he could not move for the longest upon her though. Even so, he had listened to what she had to say intently even though her more serious expression had implied that she was giving her utmost attention as if it was a more life threatening matter. He had seldom seen the look on her face seeing she was one of the most playful people he knew, but she seemed distracted, as if something was on her mind.
He could not figure out Hitomi, nor did he think he ever could seeing her demeanor, but…
""Xen-kun I love you!""
He had looked shocked. His life had returned to his fingers as he had pulled them back slightly from her heart after feeling the pulsation he felt. It was strong enough to send a surge through his body as if it shook his own heart upon impact. His eyes had fallen upon her as he seemed stare at her with them wide, unmoving as he had could do nothing more than hold his breath, choking the next moment from the lack of air. It had taken him a moment to realize he had to breathe, and when he did, it was a sudden gasp for the air as his fingers stayed reaching to her.
”H-Hitomi-senpai…” he had spoke up forgetting to refer to her as “Chan” because of that sudden horrifying moment, ”W-what…what did you just say to me?”
::OOC Notes::IC Attire School Uniform Now Listening To: "Niji" by NirglisChatty Ditz: ---[/size]
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Post by Mistress Victoria on Jan 28, 2010 15:57:28 GMT -5
”H-Hitomi-senpai… W-what…what did you just say to me?”
She released his hand from her grip and bit her lip. Her own hand had crossed her chest and gripped her sleeve.
"I said... I love you, Xenneth-kun." She looked up at him with flushed cheeks and watery eyes. Her racing heart calmed a few beats but retained its adrenaline. She didn't blame the shock he received from the sudden news, but the fact that she has loved him for quite a while now was a deep treasure she hid in her heart, but now it was out in the open for him to see and to feel.
A breath escaped her lips as she attempted to calm her heart by several more beats. "I... I loved you for quite some time now, Xenneth-kun."
She gave him a soft smile in attempt to show that she felt lighter now that she confessed, regardless of if he approves or rejects her. "...Ever since you let me into your life, I adored you. As I got to know you further, I realized my adoration was deeper than that. I felt on fire every time I was near you, but I had to keep true to what people perceived me as..."
She shuffled her feet as her eyes continued to look at him, the boy she loved. "I know about your fear, Xen-kun... and I know that this was probably a shot in the dark, but.. I want to help you, Xen-kun. I want to be there for you..."
Even though he had this fear of relationships and of girls, she loved him to the point of wanting to be a crutch for him. She wanted to help him get over the innate fear of girls and relationships. She would put his well being before her own.
She knew that he would be confused as to why she wanted to be with him, when there were so many other boys she could choose. But he meant so much more to her than those other superficial boys.
She placed her finger on her lips. "...I know what you're going to ask. The answer is simple: ...You have something that all the other boys don't, Xen-kun."
You don't realize it yet, Xenneth.. but.. you're more of a man than all the other boys...
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Post by Xenneth Hikari on Jan 28, 2010 17:42:01 GMT -5
[shadow=black,left,300]~Noon[/shadow][/font][/color][/right] "I said... I love you, Xenneth-kun."
He heard her right, but he still could not believe the words himself. He had simply sat with his mouth opened slightly, his eyes gazing still as if they had seen the most shocking sight. In fact, it was, Hitomi who was spilling out to him with such deep emotion as she proclaimed her love as if it was something he saw from one of his many romance titles he had kept within his backpack. His eyes had went around in circles trying to figure out exactly what she was trying to get at as they had been wistfully in thought. His stuttered to even get a letter out as he thought to himself.
“This is Hitomi-senpai…” he had thought, “S-she…she‘s just playing as all, teasing me! Maybe she‘s just trying to flirt with me a different way since I‘m not like the others. This is all some crazy scheme.”
He had told this to himself thinking about it. Why else would she say such things? She had been acting funny lately after all as if she was changing around him. At best, he had thought that she was being her usual scheming self. However, she cried a tear. That took a lot of effort, including for something as tragic as an act. He would have witnessed perfect acting at its perfection, but he still could not comprehend why she would go through such an effort like that? Maybe she liked him, but not in the “best” of ways. That thought itself made him worry to what she would do to him.
He was unsure of what to do…what to say.
"...Ever since you let me into your life, I adored you. As I got to know you further, I realized my adoration was deeper than that. I felt on fire every time I was near you, but I had to keep true to what people perceived me as...I know about your fear, Xen-kun... and I know that this was probably a shot in the dark, but.. I want to help you, Xen-kun. I want to be there for you..."
She poured out so many emotions and desires into that confession. It was more than what Xenneth could bare. He had felt like he saw this one time, or at least read about it. He did not want to be the person to not return any emotion to void of some one’s feelings. However, he started to understand why those little “fictions” were true. He felt the emotions of why people turned away from these conversations. He could not simply say “I Love You, too!” to Hitomi. She was just someone he knew prior to her moving into the town like he was, but he could not see past that “reputation” and those times she teased him. Was this true, and what did he in Hitomi as a person?
Furthermore, what did she see in him?
"...I know what you're going to ask. The answer is simple: ...You have something that all the other boys don't, Xen-kun."
“I-I…I have…?”
He could not think of anything, nothing at all. Between him trying to find out what was this “thing” he had that no other boy had, or what he found within Hitomi that he adored more than that side of her that was hidden. Was that her true side, or was the side she put up as a “front” as she said was true? Which one did he truly prefer? The answer was hard because he felt he would not love her for “her.”
It scared him, thinking about himself. What he had? He played with his violet hair for a moment or even pressed against the tattoo on his check. His eyes had been upon Hitomi as he wanted to muster a question, something that he could ask of her.
“Hitomi-sen-” he had paused, “I mean…Hitomi-chan…I…”
*RIIIING~*
That bell had good timing at times. His eyes had went to Hitomi as he looked towards the courtyard clearing, the last of the classes had come to a stop for today, but he of course had to clean out his locker before he head home. At best he knew he had some lessons to make up for seeing he slept through his classes. His eyes upon the young woman, he had stood up quickly as he seemed to gain a boost of energy.
“W-well…H-Hitomi-chan. I‘ll….I mean…I‘ll see you tonight. S-sorry if our conversation was cut short.” he had said tossing his head forward and pulling it back with a smile hiding his whirl wind of emotions. “Uh, I-I‘ll meet you in town, okay?” he had chanted before running off soundly.
He felt like a coward, a real coward, but what else was he supposed to do? He just wished he could be confident; confident enough to conquer those dreadful feelings inside of him.
::OOC Notes::IC Attire School Uniform Now Listening To: "Niji" by NirglisChatty Ditz: ---[/size]
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Post by Mistress Victoria on Jan 28, 2010 18:35:52 GMT -5
She could do nothing but look at him as he took in all of this information. He still questioned if he really had anything that the others did not. Only she knew what he had, because it's not something that would be obvious to even other girls.
Most other boys would want her for her buxom body and her honey words. They want her for her body, not for the girl who likes anime and card games and manga and video games. They want her for the girl who likes to dance and likes to tease and dares to be a little exhibitionist. They want the daughter of a whore who grew up to act like a sophisticated whore.
Xenneth was simpler than that. To him, she was a confident girl who could get whatever she wanted just by the movement of her glossy lips and the wag of her finger. Show a little skin and they bend to your every will. He wasn't like that.
He had a fear of girls and of relationships, and that kept something pure within him that other boys have lost.
If he would love Hitomi; he would love her for the person she is, for all of her faults and quirks, and see nothing wrong with them. He would see the true girl behind the factory made personality.
But what was her true self? Was she actually timid and shy? Or was she a confident girl that knew what she wanted and went after it? She was so mentally bent on not turning out like her mother, that she was adamant on believing that being a flirt and pulling on people's strings was wrong.
There was something to her factory personality that she needed to retain, though. That was the confidence that Xenneth wants so much. There wasn't even anything wrong with flirting, either.
She got up from the bench. She smiled brightly and nodded as they went separate ways back to class.
What was she going to wear tonight?
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